I cried in the Target parking lot today.
Seriously though, you may think I am joking, but I am not. I ended my workday, sitting in my car, crying in the parking lot of Target. This sounds super depressing and lame – I promise, it will get better, so stick with me here. I’ll explain exactly how the crying came about.
I did some serious battle today. Since May, I have had terrible allergies that make my eyes incredibly itchy and extremely swollen, in January I got a terrible sunburn on by face which left me with this weird shiny bump on my nose, my chin completely broke out, and it is one million degrees in Minnesota so I am constantly sweaty. We all have things we are insecure about, those things just happened to get to me today. Immediately after work I went to Target to get allergy medicine, eye drops, cucumbers, and green tea, all in the hopes that something would help to remedy some part of my face. After getting my things, I sat in my car and tried to put my eye drops in. EXCEPT my eyes were so swollen that I couldn’t even open them enough to get a drop in! Looking back now, it’s actually kind of funny. But in the moment, I just started to cry.
I was so frustrated and tired from fighting off all the thoughts in my head all day. My heart just ached. It sounds super dramatic, but don’t you ever have these days as a woman? The point of sharing this story with you is that I want to be real. I felt ugly. I felt insecure. I felt like my worth was somehow less. I felt that way because I was letting so many lies into my head. Do any of these thoughts sound familiar to you? “I’m ugly. If only I could look like her. Wow, I’m definitely not photogenic. I’m the funny one, being pretty was never my thing.” I let these lies slowly creep into my mind, and they captured me, they kidnapped who I really am.
So I finally got myself together and started to drive home. On the way home, I started to feel really convicted, and actually really angry. I am so sick of the unrealistic expectations that are put on women. I am so sick of being valued primarily for my looks. I am so sick of trying to live up to ridiculous standards of beauty. I am so sick of being told that I need to look a certain way to be desirable. I am so sick of comparisons and putting ourselves and other women down. I am so sick of seeing a movie where the female character is an FBI agent but she’s running around chasing bad guys in high heels and a backless dress – because of course she has to look “hot” while fighting crime (fictional movie but you feel me right?). It’s just not real. And actually it’s unbelievably damaging – to me, to you, to your best friend, to your little sister – to every single woman! Enough is enough!
Ladies we are SO MUCH MORE! I want to just scream it from the rooftops! I want to shake you until you get it! You are a beautiful, smart, funny, confident young woman. You are more than the likes on your Instagram selfie, you are more than how much you look like Kim Kardashian, you are more than your body. As women, we have a deep desire for beauty – one of the deepest desires of our hearts is to be told that we are beautiful. The devil preys on that desire and uses it to hurt us. He lies to us and convinces us that we could never possess the beauty we seek. But that is so wrong. You, yes you, are the crown of creation. You are created by a God who knows you and loves you, a God who looked at you and said that you were very good. You were intricately and beautifully crafted with design and purpose. There is no one else like you on the entire planet. We have to fight to believe this; we have to fight to help each other believe this.
We joined the Be Love Revolution to be love to those around us. Let’s start this revolution by loving ourselves just as we are – not if or when I lose weight, or my acne clears up, or my allergies go away or whatever it is! But right now. I dare you to look in the mirror tomorrow and tell yourself that you are stunning, and then tell one other person that they are beautiful. See what happens!
Image via Francesca Patti Photography